Not Easy

 My life as of lately has been hunkering down.  Due to the weather and a lack of funds stay home has been an easy option.  It has really been the only option.  The loneliness that comes from staying home long periods of time has been the most difficult aspect.  I little communication I have with the outside world through my cell phone is not cutting it.  I cant imagine how things would be if the power went out and I was literally alone.  It takes a special person to be able to live isolated and alone.  I am not one of those people.  

 Leaving the house has become an important aspect of my day.  The much needed contact gets me by for a bit but I quickly become irritable and depressed as the hours go by.  Listening to pod cast sometimes helps but the lack of interaction starts to feed the isolation.  One of the worst parts of communicating with the outside world is the negativity that can come with it.  Negative reviews, negative comments, horrible events in the news pushes me back into isolation.  If that is the best the world has to offer…

 The sun is out this morning.  There was a frost advisory last night and the house is cold.  The much needed sunlight has me back at the computer going over my next book.  The work is easy and trivial.  It could be worse, I could be mopping up blood and other bodily fluids.  I try to remember where I came from and what I don’t want to go back to.  

 The road is not easy.  Hunkering down is not easy.  Survival is not easy.  Life is not easy.  Trying to do so much on my own is draining.  I keep going.  The road is slow.  There is no end to the horizon.  There is only moving forward.  

Matthew Gilman can be contacted on his author Facebook page and found on Twitter.

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