This F*cking Monday


I knew yesterday that there was a coronavirus patient at our local hospital. Being a Sunday I had the feeling that the county government would wait to officially announce it. Then Monday morning happened with the announcement that not one but three cases were in my county. That wasn’t the only kicker. I was planning to spend the rest of my time indoors for the foreseeable future. Turns out my wife had other plans.

“I want to go to the store and take some food to my mom,” she said.

Are you fucking kidding me? Was my first thought. Not only was there the confirmed cases in town but also the order coming from the governor’s office to stay at home except for certain circumstances. Basically, the state was going under martial law. I have had people tell me that this was only a suggestion and that it wasn’t mandatory, then the sheriff spoke. “This is not a suggestion. You will be arrested if you don’t comply.” Since my wife was going anyway, I dressed in my best post-apocalyptic apparel and set off on the road to have a flat tire, road rage bikers, or red neck road block foal our plot. To my surprise none of that happened. I filled the back of the SUV with a few weeks-worth of food and we set off an hour in one direction to drop it off.

The roads were empty except for three rivers where the traffic was still bumper to bumper at certain spots. The drop took less than five minutes, and on the way back we filled the gas tank for $1.49 a gallon. When we came home our daughter wanted to go for a walk since she was stuck in the car for two hours. I put her in the wagon and she was able to enjoy the park down the street for the last time. Parks and playgrounds were ordered closed by the governor. The state is on lockdown and later when we tell the girls about this, we can say we did the best we could under the circumstances. But I tell you what, when this is over, I’m buying a damn cabin in the woods.

The evening went better than expected. Then the news started to come through my phone that all the places I love were closing until further notice. My friends are going to the front lines to fight some virus that was most likely produced in a Russian lab. Everyone I know is so far away. The real kicker was my boss sending me a text asking “are you prepared for the apocalypse?” the only responsible answer was “yes.”

Just past 8pm a emergency alert went over my phone reminding me of the governor’s order and it was then I realized that the shit has gotten real. The numbers out of Italy and china haven’t been truthful. Our president is a moron. Congress is playing their usual blame game circle jerk. The media is lying about the strength of the supply chain. This is the apocalypse and my biggest fear is that the internet goes down and my two-year-old can’t watch Chip and Potato to give me a moment of sanity during the day.

Tomorrow is a new day. I doubt I will see the national guard in the streets. There is the liquor store on the corner if I want a beer. The sun is supposed to come out so maybe it won’t be such a bad day. If anyone tries to tell me I can’t be out then I’ll tell them to “get off of my lawn.”


One thought on “This F*cking Monday

  1. Anonymous says:

    I know it is hard to stay calm. But you have to for your family. It will be over sometime this year. We need to have faith that this is just a trial. We will get through this.


Comments are closed.