April 12, 2020 Easter

The movies are full of shit when it comes to these things. The long boring days and the high tension in the air is enough to make you feel sympathy for Jack Nicholson’s character in The Shining. How does one keep from losing their mind, constantly wondering what will happen next and questioning if things are as bad as the government keeps telling us they are?

It is the middle of April and the power company issued a warning that the power might go out from a windstorm coming through along with the last winter storm. Planning for next winter might have been an unexpected plan for next week considering the container of kerosene I picked up for the portable heater. The loss of power could be a breath of fresh air, unable to listen to the news or check my phone every five minutes to see the latest numbers. The best entertainment throughout this whole thing came from the crazy conspiracy theories flooding the internet. Then Trump considers pardoning at Netflix character and suddenly those theories don’t seem so crazy anymore.

I watched one of my neighbors point a pistol at his old beagle today while yelling “I told you to shut the fuck up.” I never heard the dog, but I did hear the man. People are starting to lose it and the stories of home invasions is piling up while the news keeps telling us that crime is down. There was a triple shooting the other day that left one dead and who knows what else is going on that doesn’t make it to the news?

We bought chickens. The garden is growing in. The chicken coop is almost finished. Gas tanks are full. Pantry is worth bragging about. Somewhere along the way I drank myself out of drinking. It turns out a man can have too much beer or wine before he gets tired of it and needs a break.

I need something to do. This notion of sitting in front of the TV and waiting for the world to end is complete bullshit. Half of my day is spent feeding am eight-week-old while waiting for my wife to wake up after being awake most of the night doing the same thing. By the time I can move most of my day is gone. While planning for the end of the world try to not have a three-year-old that you are responsible for, just a tip. The parks are closed, and I am paranoid these days about going for a walk considering the reports of a man arrested for throwing a ball in a park with his daughter. I’m starting to debate which is worse, the virus we all fear or the reaction from our government.

There is a question floating around about what is really coming, that the virus isn’t the big event but that there is something else that is on the way. Who knows? Either way I have a feeling that things will not be going back to normal. Walmart might disappear considering that they depend on Chinese goods. At this moment everyone is thinking “fuck the Chinese.” The Chinese government lied. Our government lied. The only people we can believe these days is the Italians and the South Koreans. Who would have thought that would have been the case? All the distrust makes me want to stay at home. I’m surrounded by rednecks, half of the governor’s orders don’t make sense, and the world, as a whole, has literally gone bat shit crazy. I knew this was going to happen one day, but I never thought I was going to be right about it. Who would trust my crazy ideas? I don’t even listen to my crazy ideas and they are my ideas.